Date: 2018-02-14 14:34
To Michelle n Lauren, I am so sorry that your husband isn 8767 t being as loving as he should be, I cannot fathom saying no to sex cuz you see I also am in a sexless marriage except I 8767 m the husband, we are now roommates as she will not let me sleep with her in our bed, it went from once every 7 or 8 months to zero last seven years, from sleeping together to her sleeping with my head at her feet I know sounds wierd but she wouldn 8767 t sleep on the same end with me now she 8767 s asked me to sleep on couch or other bedroom, I guess what I 8767 m trying to say is Please try to find out what is going on and the both of you fix it that means a lot of prayer and more prayer believe me when I tell you that you don 8767 t want to end up like me, I know that Adam in earlier post mentioned it 8767 s too late for him I personally don 8767 t think so I believe that there is someone for everyone, but my point is you are both probably still young and beautiful ladies so at this point there are still options for you and for Adam however it comes down to a desicion, I chose to try and try and try with my wife unfortunately I 8767 m still trying I feel like a train trying to go uphill and the wheels are losing tracktion so it 8767 s going backwards as she won 8767 t or can 8767 t respond to me, I 8767 ve imagined me driving away and by chance meeting someone who actually wants to hold my hand or sit with me maybe even cuddle I know sounds strange coming from a man but when a person is starving for affection he tends to dream of things he 8767 s starving for, anyway I 8767 m going off track I want to ask God to bless you both and Adam and your marriages and that he blesses your husbands so that their eyes open and they realize how beautiful you both are and his passion for you is reignited, I don 8767 t want you to end up like me with only dreams left and a roommate who is rarely home, it is very very lonely at times maybe she just doesn 8767 t want me no more I don 8767 t know I 8767 ve asked her and she says that she loves me but she also says that 8775 she will cook n clean but she 8767 s not that girl 8776 ( for sex ) I don 8767 t know what kind of love that is but it sure lonely on this end *censored* , I 8767 m afraid that we all need to make a choice I thought I had chosen long ago but my choice seems to be killing my soul because it hurts SOO much and I don 8767 t want that for any of you, and even though I 8767 m older 55 there may be someone who has eyes for me that will help me feel like a man again I wish so much it was my wife, well anyway GodBless you all and I 8767 m praying for you 😊
I admit that I avoid intimacy, but not out of fear of loss. It 8767 s true that I have a negative self-image. Both parents worked long hours so I was bounced from in-home *censored*-care situation to the next, usually provided by geriatric women who only interacted with me with a meal. Otherwise, I was left alone. I had one sibling growing up. A sister that was 6*censored*s my senior who was full of resentment, and took it out on me whenever she was 8775 forced to babysit 8776 me by our parents. She repeatedly told me that that I was 8775 just a doofus 8776 , that our parents didn 8767 t love me, and that I was 8775 a mistake. 8776 This, along with other experiences instilled in me a lack of confidence and social skills that made her negative remarks self-fulfilling by the time I hit grade-*censored*. My peers, sensing my insecurity mercilessly tormented me with similar remarks. That served well to permanently validate my sister 8767 s words and my own self-assessment. Unlike the article suggests, I never retreated into a fantasy life. I have always been super-grounded in the reality of the moment. Instead, I immersed myself in diverse intellectual pursuits, like reading, designing or building things, etc. This distraction became an aptitude that enabled me to successfully complete college and grad *censored* then then become an electronics engineer. Through years of practice, I 8767 ve learned to put up a facade, I now appear attractive, outwardly social, and quite normal in social situations. Co-workers and neighbors frequently attempt to be my 8775 friend. 8776 I am irritatingly-often invited to cook-outs, or other social activities but graciously decline 8775 because I 8767 m just too busy. 8776 Setting aside the fact that I 8767 d be bored out of my skull since socializing really does nothing for me, I feel that it would be dishonest for me to attend, because it 8767 s not me but my facade they like. Otherwise, I have a deep sense of disgust or pity for anyone who would want to spend time with the REAL me. Through the years, I have accepted a few invites for dates (women asking me out), but ultimately I sabotage those when it seems the interested party wants more from me and I begin to experience the disgust/pity thing. So basically, I harbor a hatred of myself. The only way I have kept from offing myself over the years is to try to add value to society by being kind, working hard, and being charitable with my time, talents, and financial resources. I make great money, but give most of it away. I 8767 ve been doing this for two decades now. I ultimately envision myself freezing to death some winter night, alone on a park-bench after I 8767 m forced into retirement and can no longer serve a purpose in this world.
I consider myself lucky in a sense. My husband and I have been together four years, married two. late 95 8767 s and we have great sex. He has just taken it to a level I cannot handle. Constantly groping my breasts, grabbing my butt. I cant do anything without a sex comment. I cant simply take a shower without him cornering me. When we are just talking and I bend down or whatever, he starts in on the comments. Its not just comments, he will start stroking himself and then want me to just be on the same page immediately. He wakes me up every morning to tell me he is aroused then wants to jack off on me and he does. It has come to a point that I feel disrespected and when I say no i feel guilty and when i give in its not a happy moment for me. Hes always happy and never thinks twice about what state of mind he has left me in. He gets home and its starts all over again until he gets his way. I actually dont even like to sleep next to him anymore because it is constant. I feel harassed in my own home. My mom says to just enjoy it while he still can. I understand that yet why cant there be a happy medium????
There have been a few times he had to wait but never more than a week. When those times happenned its because I was sick. He will complain that its been two weeks after four days. This doesnt make me want him. Im frustrated and lately just dont even want any part but I do just to make him shut up. Right after we have sex he can talk to me like a human being. By then I am angry and no longer want to have a conversation with him. I just want to get away from him. I cant do yoga while he is home. I cant stretch. I cant let him rub my feet anymore because I get relaxeed and then before no time he pulls it out and starts rubbing and begging. Where is this mans restraint? Sure he loves me. I love him so much when we have a buffer around like his *censored*s or my *censored*s, company, phone calls. Why be pushy about sex when your not deprived at all?
All these men and women that tolerate years of no sex and I am complaing. I know its difficult to understand. Balance in life is what I am craving! I just want to relax and have sex when it feels right.
There are so many times when we are just talking and I am so attracted to him but he never lets me come to him. He is on it 79/7. If I give him even the slightest notion that I want him, he takes over and its over. He gets what he wants, Im just not sure he knows what he is getting as an end result.
I am getting more and more distant and turned off.
I certainly would not want to bein a sexless marriage, that would drive me nutty, however, I do know from experience that when I start wanting something so bad and dwell on it. I get irrational and sabbotage myself with detructive behavior.
maybe he is pushing so hard that I cant breathe or think straight. Maybe I am pushing away so hard that he cannot see or think straight.
Thanks for letting me chat!